*Please note that this is not a review of the series, just of this season specifically.*
The Bachelorette is one of those shows that either you love, hate, or secretly love but would never admit it out loud. I personally can’t get enough of it, and find it entertaining and fascinating. It is also a show that often comes under fire. This season in particular has spiked a lot of controversy.
I want to start by talking about one contestant in particular: Ian.
I want to start by talking about one contestant in particular: Ian.
Ian rubbed viewers in all the wrong ways. He was insulting and arrogant, and overall came across as disrespectful. Describing someone as “surface-level” is one of the biggest insults one could ever give. But he didn’t just go there, he essentially slut-shamed Kaitlyn by accusing her of only going on the show to “make out with a bunch of guys.” I have a few questions for Ian here:
All that being said, I do have to give credit where credit is due. During the Men Tell All, Ian did apologize and seem remorseful for his words. He was very humble in his apology both to the views and other suitors, but most importantly to Kaitlyn. I also thought him handing her a handwritten apology was a nice gesture. His actions on the show were in poor taste, but I got to give him credit for owning it.
- Is her making out with multiple guys a bad thing? That is part of a normal relationship and she’s an adult who can do what she pleases.
- Did you ever really make an effort to make her comfortable opening up to you and showing you her more vulnerable side? Did it ever occur to you that maybe she needed more time to warm up?
- Were you really upset about her making out with “a bunch” of other guys, or were you just upset that you really weren’t one of them?
All that being said, I do have to give credit where credit is due. During the Men Tell All, Ian did apologize and seem remorseful for his words. He was very humble in his apology both to the views and other suitors, but most importantly to Kaitlyn. I also thought him handing her a handwritten apology was a nice gesture. His actions on the show were in poor taste, but I got to give him credit for owning it.
There was a lot of controversy around the decision to have two Bachelorettes. People were incredibly shocked and didn’t think it was fair that one of the girls would be sent home and have to feel that pain all over again. I’ve most commonly heard the “they would never have done this to two men” argument. But the truth is, they already have.
Britt and Kaitlyn were not the first to go through this. On Season 6 of The Bachelor Byron Velvick and Jay Overbye went through the same motions, and the women voted for Byron to stay over Jay during the premiere. This isn’t just an issue regarding being mindful of how these two girls are feeling, but people in general. Both Britt and Jay have to carry the sting of not being chosen for a second time. That wasn’t a fair position for the producers to put any person in.
All that being said, Kaitlyn was the one picked, and so this season was largely focused around her. Right off the bat she had to make some tough calls, including getting rid of Kupah. He didn’t even make it to the second rose ceremony before Kaitlyn realized he was not a guy to keep around. He was rude, loud, and obnoxious, and she was not going to put up with his disrespect for another moment. That moment really showed her strength of character. She also demonstrated this when she asked Clint to leave. He was saying one thing to her and another to the guys, and simply wasn’t there for her. She wasn’t going to tolerate that when she had so many other great guys she could be spending time with. It’s inspiring to watch a woman, or any person, stand up for themselves.
Another hot topic of this season was Kaitlyn and Nick. I don’t want to discuss whether or not she should have brought him onto the show, what I care about is their intimacy. It is no secret that the two of them had sex. The producers told the viewers from the beginning of the series that Kaitlyn went to the next level with someone before the fantasy suites.
What was most upsetting to me was how the producers dramatized what happened. In general this season the producers built things up to be a lot more dramatic than they actually were. To be honest, her having sex with Nick was never an actual problem on the episodes, and I find it being spun in the previews to appear like it was creating problems to be disgusting. I understand that building up drama is how you draw viewers in, but there’s a huge difference between emphasizing the dramatic and twisting the truth.
It is public knowledge that Kaitlyn has been cyber bullied over this past season. People were messaging and tweeting her calling her a “slut” and a “whore” and I’m sure a whole lot more. My big issue here is that if we don’t want people to use those words on us and those we care about, then we should all stop using them! If you use offensive language then you’re saying it’s okay for others to do so. We need to stop putting people down, and instead help build them back up. Kaitlyn was making decisions that are normal to make in any relationship. She had to take each relationship as it’s own, and I think she did a good job seeing everything through as far as she felt she had to. She’s an adult who is entitled to making her own decisions.
I will say that the advantage to making it known up front that she slept with a contestant is that they could try and get out ahead of it. Right away Kaitlyn was able to speak out and make it clear that she did not regret her decision. It was her choice to make and it was what felt right and made sense in the moment.
I actually think that during After the Final Rose Nick had a really good explanation for people who were taken aback by their actions. He pointed out that they had already established an intellectual and emotional connection before he even came on the show. Because of this, he described it as the physical connection was trying to play catch up, and so it escalated at a rapid pace. Plus, things tend to move faster on The Bachelor and Bachelorette, it’s just the nature of the show. So what felt kinda fast for viewers just felt like the next natural step for the two of them as a couple.
I think Kaitlyn handled herself and the situation with a lot of maturity and grace. She doesn’t owe anybody an explanation and I admire her ability to calmly stand her ground and say she doesn’t regret it. Let’s face it, you wouldn’t care if the stranger standing in front of you in Starbucks has or hasn’t slept with someone or the circumstances around it. Why is it such a big deal for someone on TV to sleep with someone they’re dating?
What was most upsetting to me was how the producers dramatized what happened. In general this season the producers built things up to be a lot more dramatic than they actually were. To be honest, her having sex with Nick was never an actual problem on the episodes, and I find it being spun in the previews to appear like it was creating problems to be disgusting. I understand that building up drama is how you draw viewers in, but there’s a huge difference between emphasizing the dramatic and twisting the truth.
It is public knowledge that Kaitlyn has been cyber bullied over this past season. People were messaging and tweeting her calling her a “slut” and a “whore” and I’m sure a whole lot more. My big issue here is that if we don’t want people to use those words on us and those we care about, then we should all stop using them! If you use offensive language then you’re saying it’s okay for others to do so. We need to stop putting people down, and instead help build them back up. Kaitlyn was making decisions that are normal to make in any relationship. She had to take each relationship as it’s own, and I think she did a good job seeing everything through as far as she felt she had to. She’s an adult who is entitled to making her own decisions.
I will say that the advantage to making it known up front that she slept with a contestant is that they could try and get out ahead of it. Right away Kaitlyn was able to speak out and make it clear that she did not regret her decision. It was her choice to make and it was what felt right and made sense in the moment.
I actually think that during After the Final Rose Nick had a really good explanation for people who were taken aback by their actions. He pointed out that they had already established an intellectual and emotional connection before he even came on the show. Because of this, he described it as the physical connection was trying to play catch up, and so it escalated at a rapid pace. Plus, things tend to move faster on The Bachelor and Bachelorette, it’s just the nature of the show. So what felt kinda fast for viewers just felt like the next natural step for the two of them as a couple.
I think Kaitlyn handled herself and the situation with a lot of maturity and grace. She doesn’t owe anybody an explanation and I admire her ability to calmly stand her ground and say she doesn’t regret it. Let’s face it, you wouldn’t care if the stranger standing in front of you in Starbucks has or hasn’t slept with someone or the circumstances around it. Why is it such a big deal for someone on TV to sleep with someone they’re dating?
I think that Kaitlyn was a great Bachelorette. She stood her ground, she was honest and upfront, she didn’t play any games, and she owns her actions. She took her responsibilities seriously and she wasn’t afraid to admit when she was wrong and apologize for it. She’s only human and it’s unreasonable to expect someone to not slip here and there. I think Kaitlyn put it best: “try and date this many people at one time, and don’t make a mistake, and have it all televised, I dare you.” She’s right, it’s not as simple as people make it out to be. She did the best that she could, and it seemed to work well for her as she came out happily engaged to Shawn. And I applaud them for standing together and just trying to make like Taylor Swift and shake off all the negativity and just focus on what’s good and exciting now.
It was an eventful season of The Bachelorette to say the least. We still don’t know who the next Bachelor is (though my vote is with Ben H, or Kermit the Frog now that he’s single) but we do have Bachelor In Paradise to enjoy in the mean time, which I look forward to sharing my thoughts on when the season ends!