I want to start by talking about one contestant in particular: Ian.
- Is her making out with multiple guys a bad thing? That is part of a normal relationship and she’s an adult who can do what she pleases.
- Did you ever really make an effort to make her comfortable opening up to you and showing you her more vulnerable side? Did it ever occur to you that maybe she needed more time to warm up?
- Were you really upset about her making out with “a bunch” of other guys, or were you just upset that you really weren’t one of them?
All that being said, I do have to give credit where credit is due. During the Men Tell All, Ian did apologize and seem remorseful for his words. He was very humble in his apology both to the views and other suitors, but most importantly to Kaitlyn. I also thought him handing her a handwritten apology was a nice gesture. His actions on the show were in poor taste, but I got to give him credit for owning it.
There was a lot of controversy around the decision to have two Bachelorettes. People were incredibly shocked and didn’t think it was fair that one of the girls would be sent home and have to feel that pain all over again. I’ve most commonly heard the “they would never have done this to two men” argument. But the truth is, they already have.
What was most upsetting to me was how the producers dramatized what happened. In general this season the producers built things up to be a lot more dramatic than they actually were. To be honest, her having sex with Nick was never an actual problem on the episodes, and I find it being spun in the previews to appear like it was creating problems to be disgusting. I understand that building up drama is how you draw viewers in, but there’s a huge difference between emphasizing the dramatic and twisting the truth.
It is public knowledge that Kaitlyn has been cyber bullied over this past season. People were messaging and tweeting her calling her a “slut” and a “whore” and I’m sure a whole lot more. My big issue here is that if we don’t want people to use those words on us and those we care about, then we should all stop using them! If you use offensive language then you’re saying it’s okay for others to do so. We need to stop putting people down, and instead help build them back up. Kaitlyn was making decisions that are normal to make in any relationship. She had to take each relationship as it’s own, and I think she did a good job seeing everything through as far as she felt she had to. She’s an adult who is entitled to making her own decisions.
I will say that the advantage to making it known up front that she slept with a contestant is that they could try and get out ahead of it. Right away Kaitlyn was able to speak out and make it clear that she did not regret her decision. It was her choice to make and it was what felt right and made sense in the moment.
I actually think that during After the Final Rose Nick had a really good explanation for people who were taken aback by their actions. He pointed out that they had already established an intellectual and emotional connection before he even came on the show. Because of this, he described it as the physical connection was trying to play catch up, and so it escalated at a rapid pace. Plus, things tend to move faster on The Bachelor and Bachelorette, it’s just the nature of the show. So what felt kinda fast for viewers just felt like the next natural step for the two of them as a couple.
I think Kaitlyn handled herself and the situation with a lot of maturity and grace. She doesn’t owe anybody an explanation and I admire her ability to calmly stand her ground and say she doesn’t regret it. Let’s face it, you wouldn’t care if the stranger standing in front of you in Starbucks has or hasn’t slept with someone or the circumstances around it. Why is it such a big deal for someone on TV to sleep with someone they’re dating?