“Women and men can’t be friends.” This idea was repeated multiple times throughout When Harry Met Sally, as the two come meet throughout the idea. As Harry and Sally move from dislike to distaste to friendship and then to love, we wonder if women and men can truly be friends. This topic is still repeated today in everyday life.
This comes into play multiple times throughout their various meetings.
This comes into play multiple times throughout their various meetings.
When we are first introduced to Harry and Sally, they are getting ready to roadtrip to New York to start life after college. This is also where Harry first brings up the topic of a man and a women being friends.
They aren’t friends, but he’s dating one of her best friends. This car ride really helps to establish the differences between the two. These two are polar opposites and don’t get along all that well. They disagree on most everything and they admittedly don’t like each other. Sally is uptight, controlling, and positive while Harry shares too much, is completely relaxed, and says that he thinks about death often. Harry likes to read the last page of a book first so he knows how it ends in case he dies first, and Sally mathematically calculates the tip out on the back of a receipt.
As Harry gets out of the car in New York City and Sally drives away there is a feeling that they will never meet again and they are both okay with that.
They are both surprised to see each other five years later at the airport. Later they spend the airplane ride together. Harry is engaged and Sally is in a serious relationship and they’re both successful in their careers.
They are both surprised to see each other five years later at the airport. Later they spend the airplane ride together. Harry is engaged and Sally is in a serious relationship and they’re both successful in their careers.
They reminisce about their car ride down and their impressions of each other. It is still quite clear that they don’t like each other, and we’d have to say we were just as surprised as Sally to find out Harry was getting married. In the beginning he was hitting on his girlfriend’s best friend. He didn’t seem to think twice about it and came across as a player. This shows some personal growth for him to have arrived at a point in his life where he’s ready for that sort of commitment.
During this second run in, Harry asks Sally if she’d like to get dinner as friends. He hasn’t seen her in a while and he seems genuinely interested in catching up, something she would clearly rather not do. She brings up the conversation in the car during that first encounter, and he gives her a further explanation.
During this second run in, Harry asks Sally if she’d like to get dinner as friends. He hasn’t seen her in a while and he seems genuinely interested in catching up, something she would clearly rather not do. She brings up the conversation in the car during that first encounter, and he gives her a further explanation.
No, no, no, I never said that... Yes, that's right, they can't be friends. Unless both of them are involved with other people, then they can... If the two people are in relationships, the pressure of possible involvement is lifted... That doesn't work either, because what happens then is, the person you're involved with can't understand why you need to be friends with the person you're just friends with… And when you say "No, no, no it's not true, nothing is missing from the relationship," the person you're involved with then accuses you of being secretly attracted to the person you're just friends with, which you probably are… Which brings us back to the earlier rule before the amendment, which is men and women can't be friends.” - Harry
Five years later they meet in a bookstore and finally become friends. Harry is getting divorced, and Sally and Joe have just broken up.
They are both at a point of change in their lives and their outlook on life has really shifted. They are both leaving a relationship and aren’t ready to move onto another. They are both depressed and are beginning to feel old. Sally has become more accepting and Harry has become less blunt. They still have different personalities, and balance each other out. Their interactions are unique and often hilarious. It was their depressed and lonely state that allowed them to get along. In their past two encounters, no one ever would have guessed that they would end up singing karaoke together in the middle of a store, or that they’d stay up late on the phone while watching the same movie.
They help open each other’s eyes to different things. Hanging around Harry allows Sally to loosen up. He likes to make silly voices in public and goof around, whereas she is usually very professional. Sally helps to bring Harry down to earth. The example we have for this is When Harry Met Sally’s most famous scene. Harry doesn’t believe that women really “fake it” that much, he doesn’t think it’s that easy. Sally takes the opportunity to show him otherwise, right there in the middle of a diner.
When Harry Met Sally unfortunately does not pass the Bechdel Test. Whenever we see Sally interact with her friend Marie, it’s always in discussion of a man. However, given the focus and direction of the movie, we’re not so sure this is a bad thing. This movie is about the relationship between Harry and Sally, the other characters are there as a mechanism for the audience to hear their individual thoughts and help guide them along their way.
This movie is more than a woman looking for a relationship, it also shows the perspective of the man. In many other movies that we have reviewed on this blog the woman has been searching for a relationship while the man is happy to be in a relationship but was not actively searching for romance. In this movie Harry is out there looking for love and a marriage as well. Although the difference between men and women is highlighted in this movie, men are also portrayed as wanting and needing love. Harry is upset when his wife leaves him, and he is truly searching for a relationship.
Because they were friends for a long time, it’s weird and complicated when Harry and Sally get together. The first clear romantic feelings that we see them express is when they’re dancing at a New Year’s Eve party. They are dancing together and laughing and then suddenly the look on their face changes and it is clear that they feel something for one another.
They continue to date other people, and try to set each other up with their best friends. Their best friends fall in love, and eventually get married. Their friendship continues on until one night when Sally calls Harry to come over. She has found out that Joe is getting married and is extremely upset and lonely. They spend the night together and it is extremely awkward the next morning.
They both feel weird about it, calling their best friends at the same time to discuss it. It’s clear that Sally caught onto Harry’s discomfort the next morning, because she thought he was disconnected from the situation. She’s also upset because she thinks he was only taking pity on her. It is also clear that Harry is panicking because he feels he may have taken advantage of her in her vulnerable state and doesn’t want to ruin the one truly good relationship he’s ever had with a woman.
This movie is more than a woman looking for a relationship, it also shows the perspective of the man. In many other movies that we have reviewed on this blog the woman has been searching for a relationship while the man is happy to be in a relationship but was not actively searching for romance. In this movie Harry is out there looking for love and a marriage as well. Although the difference between men and women is highlighted in this movie, men are also portrayed as wanting and needing love. Harry is upset when his wife leaves him, and he is truly searching for a relationship.
Because they were friends for a long time, it’s weird and complicated when Harry and Sally get together. The first clear romantic feelings that we see them express is when they’re dancing at a New Year’s Eve party. They are dancing together and laughing and then suddenly the look on their face changes and it is clear that they feel something for one another.
They continue to date other people, and try to set each other up with their best friends. Their best friends fall in love, and eventually get married. Their friendship continues on until one night when Sally calls Harry to come over. She has found out that Joe is getting married and is extremely upset and lonely. They spend the night together and it is extremely awkward the next morning.
They both feel weird about it, calling their best friends at the same time to discuss it. It’s clear that Sally caught onto Harry’s discomfort the next morning, because she thought he was disconnected from the situation. She’s also upset because she thinks he was only taking pity on her. It is also clear that Harry is panicking because he feels he may have taken advantage of her in her vulnerable state and doesn’t want to ruin the one truly good relationship he’s ever had with a woman.
After the incident, they both agree to forget about it. They agree that it was a mistake. But of course, they can’t just leave it at that. Sally confronts Harry at Marie and Jess’ wedding. She wants to talk about it because she knows they can’t just go back to the way things were before they slept with each other. It’s just like Harry said in the beginning, they can’t be friends because in one way or another sex was going to get in the way.
They go their separate ways after this. Sally doesn’t want to hear from him and makes an effort to avoid him at all costs. Harry leaves her many voicemails and attempts to get her to talk to him. He misses her and realizes he mishandled the situation.
Finally, on New Year's Eve, it hits him. He realized why it was so difficult for him to let her go. His feelings were real and he couldn’t keep avoiding them, so he acted on instinct and ran to her.
We recognize that this ending might be slightly cliche, but the film wouldn’t have been as satisfying if they didn’t end up together. It’s in the title of the movie, you go into it knowing what to expect. This is a classic case of boy meets girl, boy gets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back. It’s a formula that’s been used for years, and that’s because it works. When Harry Met Sally is a beautiful story of their relationship. They balance each other out and compliment each other nicely. Their bond is strong and because they have such a great friendship, that foundation makes them a great couple.
Robert Ebert puts it well when he describes it by saying “We're with them, or maybe a little ahead of them, every step of the way.” Though we know about their respective careers, Harry a political consultant and Sally a journalist, this movie isn’t about their individual lives and activities. This is a love story. Robert Ebert describes it best when saying “this isn't a romance of passion, although passion is present, but one that becomes possible only because the two people have grown up together, have matured until they can finally see clearly what they really want in a partner.” This is what we have noticed too throughout watching the film. They got together because they were at the right point in their lives for it to work. The New York Times also describes it well by saying the characters “debate whether men and women can be nonsexual friends” in the beginning, “but that issue instantly evaporates and the question becomes: When will they realize they were made for each other?”
We thought that the storyline was logically laid out. It seemed as though this situation could happen in real life. Sometimes people aren’t always ready for certain things until the opportunity comes around later in life. We think that because Harry and Sally went about their lives separately, by the time they came together they knew themselves well and didn’t have to worry about a relationship defining them.
Aside from the story, we really enjoyed the actors. Neither of us had ever seen Billy Crystal act in anything before, and he was absolutely delightful with his charismatic charm. We agree with Robert Ebert when he says that “what makes (the film) special” is the chemistry between Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan. They really work well off each other and bring a lot to the table for their individual characters.
Another good point that we thought Robert Ebert brought up in his review was the contrast between Harry and Sally and Marie and Jess as couples. Marie and Jess are “the kind of people who don't make it hard for themselves, who realize they like each other, and accept that fact, and act on it.” Then you have Harry and Sally who “fight happiness every step of the way, until it finally wears them down.” By having Marie and Jess in the film, it allows the audience to see and understand a different type of relationship. Love isn’t easy, but it’s not necessarily as difficult as Harry and Sally seem to make it for themselves. Marie and Jess had a connection and they acted on it. It was impulsive for them and they trusted it. Harry and Sally had a connection too, but they suppressed their impulses much more. They were much more cautious, perhaps because of their fear of ruining their friendship.
When “When Harry Met Sally” came out, it was unexpectedly popular. It was on a limited release and, according to the Huffington Post, was the 11th highest grossing film of that year and even outsold The Little Mermaid. Besides it’s witty dialogue which we’ve found to be pointed out in every review we’ve read, there are a few clever techniques that the director Rob Reiner uses to draw the viewer in. For example, The New York Times points out that “throughout the film, he inserts mock-documentary scenes in which long-married couples face the camera and briefly tell their stories of love at first sight, or of love lost and later found. It is much too blunt a way of pointing to Harry and Sally's future.”
The historical context of this movie is how dating has evolved over time. We see this through the multiple documentary style interviews.
We thought that the storyline was logically laid out. It seemed as though this situation could happen in real life. Sometimes people aren’t always ready for certain things until the opportunity comes around later in life. We think that because Harry and Sally went about their lives separately, by the time they came together they knew themselves well and didn’t have to worry about a relationship defining them.
Aside from the story, we really enjoyed the actors. Neither of us had ever seen Billy Crystal act in anything before, and he was absolutely delightful with his charismatic charm. We agree with Robert Ebert when he says that “what makes (the film) special” is the chemistry between Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan. They really work well off each other and bring a lot to the table for their individual characters.
Another good point that we thought Robert Ebert brought up in his review was the contrast between Harry and Sally and Marie and Jess as couples. Marie and Jess are “the kind of people who don't make it hard for themselves, who realize they like each other, and accept that fact, and act on it.” Then you have Harry and Sally who “fight happiness every step of the way, until it finally wears them down.” By having Marie and Jess in the film, it allows the audience to see and understand a different type of relationship. Love isn’t easy, but it’s not necessarily as difficult as Harry and Sally seem to make it for themselves. Marie and Jess had a connection and they acted on it. It was impulsive for them and they trusted it. Harry and Sally had a connection too, but they suppressed their impulses much more. They were much more cautious, perhaps because of their fear of ruining their friendship.
When “When Harry Met Sally” came out, it was unexpectedly popular. It was on a limited release and, according to the Huffington Post, was the 11th highest grossing film of that year and even outsold The Little Mermaid. Besides it’s witty dialogue which we’ve found to be pointed out in every review we’ve read, there are a few clever techniques that the director Rob Reiner uses to draw the viewer in. For example, The New York Times points out that “throughout the film, he inserts mock-documentary scenes in which long-married couples face the camera and briefly tell their stories of love at first sight, or of love lost and later found. It is much too blunt a way of pointing to Harry and Sally's future.”
The historical context of this movie is how dating has evolved over time. We see this through the multiple documentary style interviews.
The traditional definition of courting is the preparation for and proposal of marriage. How people court has changed tremendously over time. In the 1900’s and 1910’s men called upon young women and visited them in their homes and other people were present during the entire visit. This time was known specifically to spend time together before marriage. In the 1920’s and 30’s people began the practice of dating. The automobile became popular, and people went to the movies or to restaurants to have fun. In the 40's and 50's there was a shortage of men due to World War Two. The idea of "going steady" was created and men would give woman a jacket or ring to signal that relationship.
It was in the 1960's that a sexual revolution began. This was due to the invention of the pill and second wave feminism. People began to be more loose and free sexually. Woman began to be seen as equals who also had sexual desires. This trend continued through the 1980's. Dating continued to be become less formal and there was no longer a set track for marriage. This can be seen throughout When Harry Met Sally as they try to navigate the complicated world of dating.
Although dating has become more complicated over time it has created a more equal platform for women. The movies that we have reviewed have shown pretty liberal and free relationships. However comparing the women in Rear Window and the women in this film shows the difference in relationships. In Rear Window, Lisa was clearly chasing after Jack. It was obvious that they were headed towards marriage. With When Harry Met Sally, they aren’t looking to find a spouse in each other. They find a companion who they just so happen to end up marrying. They don’t enter into a friendship expecting to like each other in that way. It’s not as much about the pursuit of marriage as much as it is about finding fulfillment from a healthy and meaningful relationship.
When Harry Met Sally isn’t as much a film about great strides for women, as much as it is a film about the evolution of relationships. It represents men and women in a positive light and though it may be slightly stereotypical, it’s by no means offensive and we think it is very well written. In hindsight, it might not have been the best movie content wise for our particular project. It is definitely an interesting movie to discuss the content of relationships, however it’s not particularly groundbreaking in terms of women. The one thing we do enjoy though is that Harry and Sally are equals, and in terms of that it is good for the representation of women.
It was in the 1960's that a sexual revolution began. This was due to the invention of the pill and second wave feminism. People began to be more loose and free sexually. Woman began to be seen as equals who also had sexual desires. This trend continued through the 1980's. Dating continued to be become less formal and there was no longer a set track for marriage. This can be seen throughout When Harry Met Sally as they try to navigate the complicated world of dating.
Although dating has become more complicated over time it has created a more equal platform for women. The movies that we have reviewed have shown pretty liberal and free relationships. However comparing the women in Rear Window and the women in this film shows the difference in relationships. In Rear Window, Lisa was clearly chasing after Jack. It was obvious that they were headed towards marriage. With When Harry Met Sally, they aren’t looking to find a spouse in each other. They find a companion who they just so happen to end up marrying. They don’t enter into a friendship expecting to like each other in that way. It’s not as much about the pursuit of marriage as much as it is about finding fulfillment from a healthy and meaningful relationship.
When Harry Met Sally isn’t as much a film about great strides for women, as much as it is a film about the evolution of relationships. It represents men and women in a positive light and though it may be slightly stereotypical, it’s by no means offensive and we think it is very well written. In hindsight, it might not have been the best movie content wise for our particular project. It is definitely an interesting movie to discuss the content of relationships, however it’s not particularly groundbreaking in terms of women. The one thing we do enjoy though is that Harry and Sally are equals, and in terms of that it is good for the representation of women.
Sources Used
Ebert, Robert. "When Harry Met Sally... Movie Review (1989) | Roger Ebert." All Content. N.p., 12 July 1989. Web. 27 May 2015.
"The History Of Dating | SexInfo Online." The History Of Dating | SexInfo Online. N.p., 7 June 2014. Web. 27 May 2015.
James, Caryn. "When Harry Met Sally." The New York Times. The New York Times, 12 July 1989. Web. 27 May 2015. Rosen, Christopher. "A Lot Of Film Critics Compared 'When Harry Met Sally' To Woody Allen In 1989." The Huffington Post. TheHuffingtonPost.com, 14 July 2014. Web. 27 May 2015.
Ebert, Robert. "When Harry Met Sally... Movie Review (1989) | Roger Ebert." All Content. N.p., 12 July 1989. Web. 27 May 2015.
"The History Of Dating | SexInfo Online." The History Of Dating | SexInfo Online. N.p., 7 June 2014. Web. 27 May 2015.
James, Caryn. "When Harry Met Sally." The New York Times. The New York Times, 12 July 1989. Web. 27 May 2015. Rosen, Christopher. "A Lot Of Film Critics Compared 'When Harry Met Sally' To Woody Allen In 1989." The Huffington Post. TheHuffingtonPost.com, 14 July 2014. Web. 27 May 2015.