For those who have seen There’s Something About Mary the image that will forever be stuck in your mind can be described in three words: “Franks and Beans.” With a take away like this, it’s no wonder the film is such a big part of popular culture. However, Mary is quite controversial and presents many opportunities for discussion on this blog.
Megan has a very vivid memory of her sister watching it for the first time.
“My sister was in early high school, and I was still in middle school. I sat down on the couch to watch it with her, all the way through the “franks and beans” scene and slightly beyond, when my mom came downstairs. When she saw what they were watching she immediately kicked me out of the room. My mom didn’t think it was okay I watching this movie at such a young age.”
We’ve heard similar anecdotes from other mother’s such as our senior project advisor. We’re about to leave to be full time college freshmen so we understand why Megan’s mother felt the movie was inappropriate.
“My sister was in early high school, and I was still in middle school. I sat down on the couch to watch it with her, all the way through the “franks and beans” scene and slightly beyond, when my mom came downstairs. When she saw what they were watching she immediately kicked me out of the room. My mom didn’t think it was okay I watching this movie at such a young age.”
We’ve heard similar anecdotes from other mother’s such as our senior project advisor. We’re about to leave to be full time college freshmen so we understand why Megan’s mother felt the movie was inappropriate.
There’s Something About Mary barely passes the bechdel test. There are more than two women in it, and they often talk about the concept of love and men, but what saves it is the exchange between Magda and Mary when Mary walks in on Magda energetically cleaning the apartment. However, the other women in the film are temporary and are not really characters. Mary’s friends are stereotypical women that Mary can gossip with. Magda is an absurd elderly women present only for laughs. Women certainly are not the feature characters in the film. |
Our initial impression of Mary is that she is a smart, caring, and confident young lady. She is the one who asks nerdy Ted if he’d like to go to the Prom with her. We found this to be a nice moment. There is such emphasis on it being the man’s job to ask out a girl, that girls often feel uncomfortable and even stupid for asking out a guy in any way. This feeling is described perfectly by Mindy Kaling.
So, if you are going to ask your crush for their phone number, you are one of the small group of women I am so jealous of. I am so fearful. As much as I’m supposed to be like, bold and confident and cool and this, like, audacious woman of color or anything else that’s been said about me, I think nothing is scarier in this world — and I’ve done some scary things in my life — than asking a guy for his phone number. So much so that I would probably lie and be like, “Uhh, in case I need to tell someone about some medical condition, can I have your number?” Like, I’d just lie. Or I’d ask my assistant to do it for me. So ask your assistant to do it for you. Have your best friend pretend to be your assistant and then say, “If I have any follow-up questions I’m just going to have my assistant get in touch with you.” And he’ll be like, “Why do you have an assistant?” If you are a 16-year-old get your 15-year-old friend as your assistant. People will think you’re very sophisticated." - Mindy Kaling
We thought it was a forward thinking move on the writer's part to have Mary ask Ted, as well as giving more depth to her character.
Although Mary has a successful career and is well spoken and caring, there are many flaws with how the film portrays women. Mary is the “ideal girl.” She loves sports, plays golf, is smart, funny, caring, and she likes beer and corndogs. On top of all of that she is also beautiful. It’s no wonder she has every guy knocking down her door. It makes sense that Mary needed to be “perfect” for all these men to be pining after her, but in many ways it’s disturbing how flawless she is.
It seems as though Mary exists simply to be pleasing to men. She likes the stereotypical traits that men find desirable and is nothing more. We see the things that she loves and cares about but we never seem to hear her true voice. This is why despite Mary’s many accomplishments and great personality she is a character to be pitied. The men we follow throughout the film view her as an attainable object, a prize to be won. And she never stands up to those men. They walk into her life, woo her, and she doesn’t bat an eye until she gets an anonymous tip or one of them tells her “the truth,” and then she follows what they say. You wonder how she could be so positive and trusting despite being lied to constantly.
At the very end of the film all of the suitors end up in Mary’s apartment and as you would expect she ultimately chooses Ted. Personally, we think this is the wrong choice. First of all, there is no reason why Mary should have to choose anyone. What right do the men who have stalked and lied to force her to choose amongst them? But if she must be forced to choose, we think she should have chosen Brett. Brett is the only one of the guys who was genuinely a good guy. There was no ulterior motive, there was no going about it in an unconventional way, he just liked her. Within all the other men, we’re glad that she chose Ted. We’re glad that she chose someone without them tricking or manipulating her.
At the very end of the film all of the suitors end up in Mary’s apartment and as you would expect she ultimately chooses Ted. Personally, we think this is the wrong choice. First of all, there is no reason why Mary should have to choose anyone. What right do the men who have stalked and lied to force her to choose amongst them? But if she must be forced to choose, we think she should have chosen Brett. Brett is the only one of the guys who was genuinely a good guy. There was no ulterior motive, there was no going about it in an unconventional way, he just liked her. Within all the other men, we’re glad that she chose Ted. We’re glad that she chose someone without them tricking or manipulating her.
Rolling Stone journalist Peter Travers describes There’s Something About Mary as “an indecently funny sex farce with something to offend every special-interest group.” This is a very fair statement. In reading both Rolling Stone and New York Times reviews, it is noted how the film uses comedy as a device to relay a social commentary on the times. Janet Maslin from The New York Times thought that “The film works ridiculously well because it never stoops to being mean-spirited or (despite all appearances) authentically inane.” And as Peter Travers points out, “words such as cripple and retard are used with equanimity. A man in leg braces is an object of mocking humor, while stalkers, serial killers and shoe fetishists are presented with a sneaking sympathy.” Clearly, when the movie came out it was perceived as almost a satirical look at what was happening in the world.
However, while reading these reviews, we couldn’t help but notice that Mary was never discussed. At most she was mentioned as the girl of Ted’s affection who was beautiful, sweet, and innocent. This is where we take issue. Don’t get us wrong, comedy is a wonderful tool to use when it comes to social commentary. But by trying to play off humor around stalkers and the mentally ill, they actually diminished the importance of Mary as a character. She was really more just there as a device and an object to be used by these men in order for the men to make their commentary. The fact that she was the only character not using offensive language, or that she was college educated, or that she liked to give back was overlooked by all accounts. She simply did not play an important enough role in the film for the reviewers to spend time mentioning her.
Clearly we do not think that There’s Something About Mary is feminist or portrays women in a fair way. It’s not that the movie is telling men to stalk women in order to woo them. Men are not supposed to want to be Healy, Tucker aka Norm, or even Ted. They are creepy and go way too far in order to be with Mary. This movie is a comedy and mocks the behavior of the men. However, in our opinion comedies reflect the values of society. Although we aren’t supposed to support the actions of the men, we still come away with the idea that it’s okay to aggressively pursue that perfect girl. Comedy does not exist within a vacuum and sends a message about what’s okay to joke about and how to act.
This brings up the question of why so many comedies seem to be anti-women. It seems as though so many comedies, just as There’s Something About Mary, tell jokes that are aimed against women. Many people say it’s simply that feminists can’t take a joke and are too serious. Actually the problem is that feminists, just like all people, only laugh at jokes that are funny. As Megan L. Pozner explains in this great article, “I’m all for subversive and challenging humor, but not unfunny, clichéd, obvious, sexist statements dressed up as jokes.” Humor can be very feminist-- as shown by Bridesmaids, Parks and Rec and Amy Schumer. If something is funny, then people will laugh, but the question then becomes is it okay to laugh? As long as it’s not offensive, then sure go ahead and find it funny. It’s the jokes that are at the expense of another that really aren’t okay. Feminism and comedy can go together, but the point of it is to challenge daily norms. Humor is a wonderful tool to use to point out the ridiculous parts of life, and we don’t believe There’s Something About Mary does this justice.
However, while reading these reviews, we couldn’t help but notice that Mary was never discussed. At most she was mentioned as the girl of Ted’s affection who was beautiful, sweet, and innocent. This is where we take issue. Don’t get us wrong, comedy is a wonderful tool to use when it comes to social commentary. But by trying to play off humor around stalkers and the mentally ill, they actually diminished the importance of Mary as a character. She was really more just there as a device and an object to be used by these men in order for the men to make their commentary. The fact that she was the only character not using offensive language, or that she was college educated, or that she liked to give back was overlooked by all accounts. She simply did not play an important enough role in the film for the reviewers to spend time mentioning her.
Clearly we do not think that There’s Something About Mary is feminist or portrays women in a fair way. It’s not that the movie is telling men to stalk women in order to woo them. Men are not supposed to want to be Healy, Tucker aka Norm, or even Ted. They are creepy and go way too far in order to be with Mary. This movie is a comedy and mocks the behavior of the men. However, in our opinion comedies reflect the values of society. Although we aren’t supposed to support the actions of the men, we still come away with the idea that it’s okay to aggressively pursue that perfect girl. Comedy does not exist within a vacuum and sends a message about what’s okay to joke about and how to act.
This brings up the question of why so many comedies seem to be anti-women. It seems as though so many comedies, just as There’s Something About Mary, tell jokes that are aimed against women. Many people say it’s simply that feminists can’t take a joke and are too serious. Actually the problem is that feminists, just like all people, only laugh at jokes that are funny. As Megan L. Pozner explains in this great article, “I’m all for subversive and challenging humor, but not unfunny, clichéd, obvious, sexist statements dressed up as jokes.” Humor can be very feminist-- as shown by Bridesmaids, Parks and Rec and Amy Schumer. If something is funny, then people will laugh, but the question then becomes is it okay to laugh? As long as it’s not offensive, then sure go ahead and find it funny. It’s the jokes that are at the expense of another that really aren’t okay. Feminism and comedy can go together, but the point of it is to challenge daily norms. Humor is a wonderful tool to use to point out the ridiculous parts of life, and we don’t believe There’s Something About Mary does this justice.
We think that a lot of the stigma around the lack of sense of humor women have is the general perception of what it means to be a feminist. Being a feminist doesn’t mean trying to put women in a position where they are viewed as being superior to men. Being a feminist means supporting the idea of people for people. It’s about supporting your fellow humans, not beating them down or degrading them in anyway. It’s just as offensive to objectify a woman in a film as it is to degrade someone with a mental illness or disability. It makes us wonder where some of these stereotypes come from, because really they just aren’t true.
In our opinion There’s Something About Mary isn’t funny movie. There were a few scenes we laughed at, such as franks and beans and when Ted is chased by Magda’s dog, but ultimately it was hard to take the characters seriously. We have to admit, we have laughed at offensive jokes before, so it’s not just that we didn’t understand where the humor was coming from or that it wasn’t our sense of humor. As a comedy, it was lacking because it appeared to be at the expense of women and people with disabilities. Comedy should be used to help point out human flaws, not to put down others in any way. As said by feminist comedian Molly Ivins said “Satire is traditionally the weapon of the powerless against the powerful. I only aim at the powerful. When satire is aimed at the powerless, it is not only cruel—it’s vulgar.” There’s Something About Mary has become a staple in popular culture, but we hope that people can look at it as something we can learn from, not something to live by.
Sources Used
Maslin, Janet. "There S Something About Mary (1998) FILM REVIEW; A Three-Alarm Pursuit of an Old Flame." The New York Times. N.p., 15 July 1998. Web. 24 Aug. 2015.
Pozner, Jennifer L. "Louis C.K. on Daniel Tosh’s Rape Joke: Are Comedy and Feminism Enemies?" The Daily Beast. Newsweek/Daily Beast, 19 July 2012. Web. 24 Aug. 2015.
Shaw, Maureen. "13 Feminist Comedians Prove Just How Fun Challenging the Patriarchy Can Be." Mic. N.p., 6 Oct. 2014. Web. 24 Aug. 2015.
Travers, Peter. "There's Something About Mary." Rolling Stone. N.p., 15 July 1998. Web. 24 Aug. 2015.
Wieselman, Jarrett, Lauren Yapalater, and Macey J. Foronda. "14 Pieces Of Advice Mindy Kaling Has For Women." Buzzfeed. N.p., 27 Mar. 2015. Web. 24 Aug. 2015.
Maslin, Janet. "There S Something About Mary (1998) FILM REVIEW; A Three-Alarm Pursuit of an Old Flame." The New York Times. N.p., 15 July 1998. Web. 24 Aug. 2015.
Pozner, Jennifer L. "Louis C.K. on Daniel Tosh’s Rape Joke: Are Comedy and Feminism Enemies?" The Daily Beast. Newsweek/Daily Beast, 19 July 2012. Web. 24 Aug. 2015.
Shaw, Maureen. "13 Feminist Comedians Prove Just How Fun Challenging the Patriarchy Can Be." Mic. N.p., 6 Oct. 2014. Web. 24 Aug. 2015.
Travers, Peter. "There's Something About Mary." Rolling Stone. N.p., 15 July 1998. Web. 24 Aug. 2015.
Wieselman, Jarrett, Lauren Yapalater, and Macey J. Foronda. "14 Pieces Of Advice Mindy Kaling Has For Women." Buzzfeed. N.p., 27 Mar. 2015. Web. 24 Aug. 2015.